There are men who have an orgasm just seconds after starting a fuck or have an orgasm when their erect penis is touched by hand by their lover or when they try to enter their wives. We then speak of premature ejaculation or ejaculation precox. That is quite a problem for those men and their partners. Sometimes sex therapy helps, sometimes certain drugs that inhibit ejaculation help.
Other men have great difficulty cumming, sometimes they only succeed after a long time of fucking, sometimes it doesn't work and they have to finish it by hand. We then speak of delayed ejaculation or ejaculation retardata.
And very rare are men who cannot cum at all, we speak of anorgasmia. It can happen if men take antidepressants, for example.
But if it occurs without medication, it is good to consult a sexologist. These are the extremes, other men are in between these two extremes.
So it is impossible to say what the average time is. That also depends on the way of making out, some couples do all kinds of things without fucking: so lick, caress, with a vibrator, etc. and then start fucking and cum quickly because they want to.
Others start fucking quickly and learn to keep it up for a long time, they stop moving now and then, then the excitement subsides, and then they move on. It is true that if you as a man have not come for a while or if you are very horny, it is more difficult to control your orgasm, your orgasm.
So for men who have casual contacts, it is often more difficult to control their ejaculation than for those in a long-term relationship with a loved one! And a bit of the same story applies to women.
Of course there are differences. If the clitoris is hardly or not at all stimulated in women, it is very difficult to come. So few women come from fucking, almost always you have to cooperate with the hand, mouth or vibrator. The complaint of "coming too fast" does not actually occur in women.
It is also true that many women can have multiple orgasms one after the other, something that is much rarer in men. Men often lose their erection after ejaculation, their horniness. Women, on the other hand, often don't.